Zooming and Scanning a New Wonder Vendor (of Narcissistic Supply)

In this section, we’ll discuss how people with narcissistic personality disorder zoom and scan their potential wonder vendors.

The Best Narcissistic Supply Comes from Wonder Vendors

As one who has served my share of narcissists with some of the best narcissistic supply on the planet, I think of myself as a misguided “wonder vendor” of my brand of narcissistic supply that has been sought by narcissists in my past.

I don’t mean to be so good at it, but, folks, I am one of the best at feeding a narc’s supply requirements.

I was raised by hard-to-please narcs and trained to be better than a trick pony. I step high and quickly, and I produce the good stuff.

Wonder Vendors Make the Best Addictive Substances on the Market

• Ice cream addict?   If such was the narcissist’s weakness, mine would be hand-cranked, sweet, smooth, and made from fresh whole cream.
• Fountain cokes are the bomb in Texas.  Baby, I served only Sonic-like sodas with plenty of syrup, fizz, and ice.
• Drooling for cakes? Nothing but top notch wedding grade  in my oven.
• Jonesing for homemade cookies?  Yep, only the best and they were moist and chewy and full of nuts and soft chocolate nuggets.
• Devil weed marijuana?  Ha!  In that case, my marijuana would have been the most potent, delivering a smooth mellow high that lasted forever and made him giggle and almost feel like a real person for a few minutes.
• If I had been a cocaine dealer for a coke-hooked narcissist, my coke would never require an increased amount.  It would pack ecstatic highs that last for hours and inspired my narc to greatness.
• For nicotine fiends, my vape juices would be amazing and I’d have a supply of cigarettes that would be flavorful and fresh–never stale.

And, to get all those delightful metaphorical addictive substances in the best most perfect form possible, all a jackass had to do was zoom me.

Zooming

Zooming is my made-up word for what narcs do to start the flow of supply in a new vendor of narcissistic supply.

Or, maybe it isn’t my word.

I think of Aretha singing “Who’s zooming who?”

When you’re in a romantic relationship with a narcissist, the narc experts say you get “love bombed” by the narc who is trying to spin you into his web.

But in my little head full of ideas about narcissists and those that I’ve supplied in non-romantic relationships, and especially in boss / employee relationships, “zoom” is my word for what narcissistic personalities do in a boss / employee or other type of platonic relationship to see if a victim will produce high quality supply.

Now, I certainly understand that Aretha’s song is about a romance, but that question “Who’s zooming who?” stuck in my head a long time ago and the word just fits the picture.

It’s like a bee dive-bombing a flower and coming back over and over again to get another taste.  I see it going on all the time. But, if I’m involved, I don’t see it for what it is!

A good wonder vendor of the boss’s special brand of desired narcissistic supply has lots and lots of great stuff to keep the narcissistic boss looking good and feeling good, but it’s never permanent.

I’m blinded by the damn zoom.

I wish that I could see it for what it is when I’m involved…plain old honeymoon phase zoom-zoom.

One little disappointment from you and the boss’s zoom quality will take a sharp dive.  It will disappear quietly and without fanfare.  You’ll wonder if it was ever there and the more you try to bring it back the less like you’ll ever experience those pleasant zoom vibes.

Scanning for Weaknesses and Motivators

While the zooming is going on, the future victim (who is initially being sized up as a wonder vendor of narcissistic supply) is being scanned for weak spots and motivators.  What does this potential wonder vendor like?  What will get her to do things she normally would not do?  What is her Achilles heel? Can I control her?  Can I push her around?  And, yes, even:  How much abuse will she take from me?  Narcissistic personality disorder authority Dr. Sam Vaknin (who has also been diagnosed twice as a narcissist) says that narcissists constantly scan others to see where their weaknesses are and what pressure points can be used to manipulate, control, and mentally abuse them.

Narcissistic personality disorder authority Dr. Sam Vaknin (who has also been diagnosed twice as a narcissist) says that narcissists constantly scan others to see where their weaknesses are and what pressure points can be used to manipulate, control, and mentally abuse them.

A narcissist could scan me and what I say for a week or so and probably figure out most of my weaknesses.  Throughout this project of talking through the woes of my narcissistic boss experience, I will refer back to situations in which Narcadoodle J. Boss tapdanced on the nerves underlying each of ten weaknesses below.

My Top Ten Weaknesses

• 10 – Not having a college degree probably bothers me a little bit.
• 9 – I am embarrassed by having a learning disability that many kids raised in violent homes probably have.  We checked out so often and went inside of our own heads so often that we can’t focus worth a shit when someone is talking to us at work or in school.
• 8 – Much of my value comes from my work, my ethics, and ability to earn.
• 7 – I’ve worked hard to learn how to write reasonably well.
• 6 – I suspect that smart narcs can figure out that I’ve got mommy and daddy issues that I can’t even see.
• 5- I can’t stand the thought that someone would think I was a needy, jealous, or lacked self-confidence.  I think I have fixed my abandonment issues pretty well, but maybe I did that by making myself a lone wolf and people see right through me.
• 4 – I want to be known as an ethical person.
• 3 – Might be my weight…I’m really concerned about not gaining too much of it and I’ll throw in being thought of as healthy and not being a constantly sickly person.
• 2 – I struggle very hard to be a good housekeeper; I would rather write or sew than do the dishes–that kind of thing.  Therefore, things can pile up on me.
• 1 – Number one is my son.  Damage the relationship I have with my son and you’ll kill me.