Our Unusually Long Honeymoon Phase

Narcadoodle and I had a longer honeymoon phase than I believed possible.  It lasted seven years.  Then, the devaluation began.  It was night and day.

That’s why I was caught by surprise when the honeymoon phase ended.

I was not a virgin victim!

I had been the victim of narcissistic abuse in a marriage and another romantic relationship.

Oh, and naturally, just like most of the victims of narcissists in adult life, I was the child of parents who had all kinds of narcissistic behaviors.   My dad was a raging jerk and undoubtedly had a malignant case of narcissistic personality disorder.

My step-mother was more than willing to offer up her kid (my stepsister) as a punching bag to daddy so she didn’t have to go out into the world and make a living.

Then there was my mother…dear mom who is 84 as I write this.  Mother wasn’t physically abusive to me (although she did burn her own father once with an iron right before my three-year-old eyes) but most of her behaviors were so egocentric, so punitive, and so emotionally hurtful in the long-term that I wonder sometimes if she didn’t give my romping, stomping child-abusing daddy a run for the top narc title in my family.

By the time I ran across Mr. Narc Boss, I was well aware of narcissistic personalities and a great deal of the harmful behaviors they bestowed on others.   But, even at our best, fellow victims, we often don’t see the narcissism in people.  They zoom us and we don’t have a clue that we are being zoomed!