A Partial Timeline with Narcadoodle J. Boss (aka, my narcissistic boss)

The following is a partial timeline for how my relationship unfolded with NJB.  As I recall other pivotal times, I’ll write them up in another post.

I met NJB in the sprint of 2008 while I was working for an attorney.  He happened upon a little how-to publication I had written and wanted me to write for him.  Apparently, he was in the “devalue and ditch the writer” mode that I came to know well this year.  He needed one, for whatever reason.

Narc Boss called me repeatedly and I didn’t answer.  I had no interest in another “association” selling me a membership.  Finally, he wrote an email and told me what he wanted.  I called him back and said yes.

What I remember about those early years is that I didn’t tell him much about me.  That was a good plan, I think. I kept everything very close to my vest. He knew I had a mother, a step-mother and a son.  He knew I had dogs.  But, I didn’t tell him much more than that.

I wrote his newsletters and he paid me well.  That was about it.  We saw each other once or twice a year.  Sometimes, I think he had a thing for me, but at the same time, he hated that he had a thing for me.  He was my age–mid 50s, and later I figured out that he fancied himself a man who deserved younger women…only younger women.

I, on the other hand, was a widow and my late husband was not a narcissist.  My husband was amazing…he was funny, sweet, handsome, and awesome.  He died when I was 40 and he was 35.  I will never get over him…any other guy, I’d punish for not being him.  So, whether he realized it or not, Narcadoodle never had a shot at this.  I’m happy.   But, I used to tell NJB that I would never consider marrying again (or even dating) unless I was assured to have plenty of material wealth, plus love, plus someone who would put up with all my boys, wives, children, mother, etc.  I guess he took that at face value and didn’t realize I was telling him that I wasn’t going to ever get myself into another relationship.  You see, I have squandered a year or two before meeting my husband, on a previous narcissistic brat husband.  I had one good guy.  I’ll stay with those memories and be happy.

In February 2013, I identified that he had a problem with legislation being introduced.  With my help, he hired a lobbyist, and defeated the bill.  I received a bonus of $10,000 for that. I was grateful.  It probably saved him a few million dollars. It was truly fortunate that I received the money because at the beginning of 2014, my right retina detached.  I was swimming in medical bills; even with insurance, I had a lot of medical bills.

Mr. Boss was really kind to me during all of that.  He called me every night.  He asked to take me and my son and his girlfriend to dinner because I was staying in Houston with them.  As a result, I was bamboozled further.

Prior to the problems with my retina, right at the end of 2013, I had a terribly bad case of pneumonia.  So bad that I should have been in the hospital.  I missed the entire month of November 2013 at my regular job, but as Thanksgiving approached,  Narcadoodle begged me to come to Houston and be with him on Thanksgiving.  I didn’t go.  That was probably one of the little things I did that caused him to feel angry at me.

Narcadoodle is from the Middle East and he was reared in a Muslim home.

I perceive that Thanksgiving is just a day off to him…a day on which his employees get a day off.  He doesn’t give a flip about Thanksgiving.  Or me. The problem was that he was abandoned during Thanksgiving 2013.  Now that I know so much more about his personal life, I recognize that his problem wasn’t about seeing me.  It was about his married girlfriend.  She wasn’t available to be with him.  She was probably spending the four days of the holiday and weekend with her daughter.  By the way, his girlfriend’s husband lives in China. Hang in here for more on his love life. It’s pretty entertaining.

In April 2014, he wanted someone to do several big writing projects for him.  We tried to find someone to do them for him but none oft he prospects worked out.  I asked him to let me do it.  I left my full-time government job reducing my hours each week to 20 in the same position. My reasoning was to keep my great government insurance and to be able to jump back to my job if needed. Thank God that I didn’t leave the job completely. Otherwise, Narcadoodle would have made me crazy.  He would have ruined me.

I started my arrangement with him on July 6, 2014.  My routine was work all weekend for him writing his newsletters.  On Monday, Tuesday, and half of Friday, I would work on his projects.

I guess I should say he was my client, not my boss.  He paid me on a Misc. 1099, meaning he didn’t take out for taxes.  But, he acted like a boss.  As soon as I reduced my hours at my government job, NJB became a mildly mean jerk.